Saturday, January 30, 2010

Understanding

Anyone who has never felt depression or been touched by someone with this disease may have a hard time understanding.

While there is still a stigma today with having a "mental" illness, more and more is being discovered and treatment is readily available for most.

I have Bipolar Disorder. I really hate saying "I'm bipolar"...because I'm not defined by my disease. It's something I have...like diabetes. It's a chemical imbalance and the ONLY thing that keeps me sane is medication. And even then the symptoms find their way in to destroy my days.

Reading The Bloggess, she posted a link to a post she made in 2009 ... It explained the feeling of depression so well.

In the grips of a massive "down" I know in my head that there is nothing to be so hopeless about. My logic is still present. But it doesn't change the way my body reacts to whatever chemicals are screwing around in my head. I think my logic is one of the only things that has saved me from offing myself in the past. That and my stubbornness and desire to not destroy my family. Suicide really is a very selfish act. And again, The Bloggess has a great post addressing that too.

5 comments:

dickster1961 said...

Having suffered from depression, I feel your pain. Good luck to you in your battle.

pamibe said...

Wow, that's exactly the way it is: down in the hole.

I only get depressed about twice a year, but when it hits... ugh.

I didn't know you have bipolar disorder. That's a horribly misunderstood illness, I think. And I don't envy you, living with it 24/7.

{HUG}

Anna said...

I also suffer from depression. For me it is a chemical imbalance in my brain and controlled by medication. I tried to go with out meds, but it wasn't pretty!

CastoCreations said...

Thanks everyone.

Yes, it is difficult and without meds it ain't pretty. =)

Mental disorders are so often mocked and made fun of...and of course I make fun of it as well because it's easier to laugh than to try to explain.

Crystal said...

I suffer from depression and anxiety disorder, and they feed off of each other, so I definitely understand. Horrible, horrible disease.