Do Whatever You Want

I know I watch too much TV. As soon as Marshal is aware of the TV I think I'm going to have to start turning it off more. For now though, the day (and night) is full of TV viewing for me.

So I've been seeing this one commercial that drives me absolutely bonkers. It's a Gap "holiday" commercial and it's got a really catchy beat. But the lyrics are insulting...at least to me.

Why do we celebrate during this particular two month period? There's a national holiday and everything. And it sure isn't for Solstice or the non holiday that is Kwanza.

Their commercial at least includes the word Christmas, but the spirit is definitely not there. They throw a shout out to Kwanza, Solstice, Hannukah (that one doesn't bother me ... although that also isn't why most of us celebrate this season), and to a new one that I've never heard of...

"Happy do-whatever-you-wannika" ... really? REALLY?

We want to celebrate a do whatever you want holiday? We want to celebrate dumb kids like this???



'Tis the season after all.

I like Gap clothing (the style at least) but their commercial REALLY turns me off. I'm not getting ready to celebrate Solstice or Kwanza or "do whatever you wannika". I'm getting excited and ready to celebrate Christmas. CHRISTMAS is the reason stores have sales and federal employees' get the day off (as do most of us).

This is our first Christmas with our new baby boy...I can't wait. :)

(Yes, I've already taken him to get Christmas photos. *grin* Target does a GREAT job!)

Nothing to See Here - Move Along

I as shocked when I heard about the shooting in Texas yesterday. And I immediately thought it was a terrorist event...before I even heard the A**holes name and the witness reports of him shouting Allah Akbar.

Stories are coming out that people raised concerns about this guy and his jihadist beliefs. But political correctness and diversity training won out and got 13 people killed by this nut.

The libs are already rallying around the diversity meme. It was just a freakish tragedy and had nothing to do with Islamic beliefs. Nope. Nothing to see here...move along. All praise diversity. No one's beliefs are any better than another. Everyone is equal and should be taken seriously (I was taught this in middle school and it never made sense to me...how can a cannibal's beliefs be just as equal as mine? ... at least that was my thought.)

Murderous ideology? Well, that's their belief and it needs to be respected.

I call BS. Radical jihadists should be shot in the head.

And no, I'm not saying all Muslims... I'm saying those radical Islamists who are no better than the Nazis in their hatred and blood lust. And it sounds like this gunman held sympathetic views toward suicide bombers and wanting a caliphate.

How could the military even allow this guy to remain in uniform?

Political correctness kills.

Just Stay Home

I went out into the world all by myself yesterday - for the first time in over a month. I drove my own car and was surprised that it started right up with no issues since it'd been sitting in our driveway for that long.

My goals weren't big...get a copy of a key made for my mom and go to Walmart for a few groceries. It was exhausting.

But the biggest issue that I came across was my cashier at Walmart. As I got closer to my turn I noticed that her nose was red and she sounded a little bit stuffy. It was too late to move lanes but by my turn I could tell that she was indeed sick. She was coughing and definitely was stuffed up.

It really bothered me. She had hand sanitizer at her station but I didn't see her use it once (and if you've ever waited in line at Walmart you know how long it can take ... she should have used it at least once in that time).

On my way out I stopped by another cashier's station and asked to use her hand sanitizer and she confirmed that my cashier was indeed very sick.

So why the HELL was she at work? The other cashier said that if they call in sick they get in trouble.

Well, excuse me, but if someone is sick they should stay home and get better instead of infecting others. Especially when they work directly with the public. Who knows how many people she came in contact with. Not to mention people like me who have newborns at home. I don't exactly want to bring home any illness to him...I'm having a hard enough time with his fussiness.

I got online right when I got home and got on Walmart's website to send a note ... in this day and age with all the hoopla about Swine Flu you'd think that they'd want to be extra careful...especially since their public image isn't always that reat.

Don't get me wrong...I love my Walmart. I generally go at least once a week. I just want them to be responsible with their associates and protect their customers from disease. Is that really too much to ask???

Here Piggy Piggy

Have you gotten your Swine Flue shot yet? Stupid H1N1. The whole hype just pisses me off.

However...

I was brow beaten into submission by my mother, who is an RN, and the rest of her medical colleagues. Not only did I get the regular flu shot for the first time in over a decade, but I also got the H1N1 vaccine (not the shot, the spray up the nose).

Why?

Because of the kid. See...kids ruin your lives. :)

Plus they say that H1N1 is more dangerous to younger people than older...which I find really odd. They aren't even giving the vaccine to people over 65 at my mom's clinic. Hubby is a first responder and we have an infant...those are the only two reasons we did it and even qualified to receive it.

The shortage of vaccines is incredible too. My mom called me to tell me that they had FIVE vaccines left in her office and to get in as soon as we could. Less than two hours later they had three left. We got two of them. It's incredible that there is such a shortage.

So I did it for my son. I swear his head grew two sizes over night. He'll be four weeks old tomorrow!

Are you getting the regular flu vaccine or the H1N1? I still think that it's being overblown by the media and government. I told the nurses at the clinic that if I got Geon Burray (or however you spell it) I was going to be super pissed.

Praying for a Routine

It's been four days and it SEEMS like Marshal is finding a sort of routine. Or at least I'm praying for one. It *seems* like he is falling asleep around 9 and sleeping until midnight or so. And then he's up for an hour or more and then sleeps until around 5 a.m. I hope he sticks with it. Maybe he'll take after his mom and dad and love to sleep. :) His daddy can sleep for 14 hours straight without any problem. And I really do need 9 hours to be fully awake.

My mom says I'm just dreaming and that when I was a baby I didn't sleep through the night until I was 9 months old. That thought scares me.

I'm completely addicted to Facebook games right now. So between laundry, feeding, changing, etc. I'm on Facebook playing Mafia Wars, Farmville, and now Cafe World. I have issues.

But I'm encouraged that I'm even able to focus on things like that now. And I managed to blog on all three of my blogs today. First time in over a month that I've managed that.

I'm still ignoring the real world though. Anything important going on?

Sleep is Important

Wow...it's amazing what a good night's sleep will do.

Hubby i working night shifts so I've had solo night duty with the boy. Then I had the day shift as well while hubby slept. Now that he has a couple of nights off I am able to sleep. I slept for almost 10 hours straight. Holy cow...

I had the energy to venture out into the world by myself with the little squirt...for the very first time. And we both survived.

Life is insane. I've completely unplugged from what is going on in the world. I did hear about The One's Nobel Peace prize. It sounded about right...after all if Jimmy Carter can get one the standards are obviously pretty low.

I spend my days changing diapers, feeding, and worrying about the boy. He doesn't seem to sleep very long if he's not in our arms so it's tough to get much done. I seem to have time to do a load of laundry and make formula and my day is over.

I wish that I didn't have to make formula but my breasts let me down in the breast feeding department. It never occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to breast feed my baby and the realization that I couldn't was truly heart breaking. I felt like a total and complete failure. Taking the breastfeeding class they talk so down on formula that you think it's a poison...so when I had no choice I was of course devastated.

But it is formula or he starves to death...and he's doing good - gaining lots of weight and finally seems to be getting his bowels under control. He's even started sleeping more at night - at least the last three nights.

I'll try not to make this into an all mommy blog all the time...although I don't have much else in my life other than baby right now. =)

It's Official

Chillin' with his papa.

I'm a mommy. Dear God it is a scary thought.

On Friday I had my last scheduled Dr's appointment and she decided that I needed to be induced right then because my fluid looked too low in the ultrasound. It was only two days earlier than scheduled but it threw us for a loop because we had other plans and last minute things were were going to do.

We headed home and got the dogs to doggy daycare for boarding and stopped by McDonalds for my last meal. :) I figured I wouldn't be allowed to eat anything once we got there and I was right - I got some jello and graham crackers around midnight / Saturday morning and that was it until Saturday after the delivery.

We checked into the hospital at 5:50 on Friday. I was barely diallated but they put me on the drip for inducing and hooked me up to the fetal heart monitor. It was a very uncomfortable night - every hour I had to get up and go to the bathroom. Not uncommon these last few weeks but a lot harder to do all hooked up to IV's and machines. I couldn't do it without the nurse's help. So humiliating.

The doctor came in Saturday morning and checked my progress (barely over 3 cm...just the process of checking me made me cry!). She said that I could have an epi when I was over 4 cm which finally arrived early that afternoon.

The guy came in and gave me the epi and while I was on the bed.....WHOOSH...all of a sudden I'm freaking out because I was leaking. ROFL The nurse probably thought I was a lunatic, but it totally freaked me out. I couldn't control it at all and it kept going. And I kept saying - the bed is all wet. hahahaha

I'm glad it broke though because that way the doctor didn't have to do it for me. I hate the look of the tool they use.

So by around 1 p.m. or so I was in labor and progressed super fast from there. When I was at 9 cm the nurse had me start pushing a bit. They don't tell you how frickin' hard it is.
I thought my head was going to explode.

Marshal Lawrence Casto was born 9/26 at 5:50 p.m. He was 7 pounds 3 ounces and 19.75 inches long. Thank GOD he wasn't the 10 pound baby we were expecting. I don't think I would have survived.

In NICU getting an IV.

There were some complications, because with this pregnancy nothing could go smoothly, even at the end. But he's healthy and home now. The gory details can be found below. :)




*** Warning - what follows can be considered TMI... read at your own risk. ***



My placenta didn't come out all the way - a piece with the tumor stayed in and the doctor had to retrieve it...and by retrieve it I mean reach up and RIP the damn thing out of me. Epidural be damned, it hurt like hell. Hubby took a photo but I won't share that...it's disgusting!



I lost a lot of blood. A few hours after delivery they tried having me sit on the side of the bed to move rooms and I nearly fainted. My blood pressure was super low when they checked and I wasn't ever able to get out of the bed that night - I couldn't even sit up!



Not only that, I wasn't able to pee and they had to put the damn cath back in, which took 30 minutes!!! The epi had worn off by that point and I was thoroughly pissed. They finally got us into our recovery room and Marshal's blood sugar started to drop. By midnight it was too low to allow him to stay in the room with me and he had to go to the NICU. :(



Thankfully I was so wiped out I barely cared. Daddy went with him and stayed the night. Marshal had to go on an IV because his sugar level was dangerously low. Even after feeding.



Then they told me that he had to have formula, which I never wanted to do. But because of his low sugars we had no choice. He needed nutrients and I couldn't give it to him yet (and still can't though we're still trying). No bottles though...we're using a syringe with a tube and finger feeding. A pain, but I really want him to be able to breast feed when I have milk and getting used to a bottle now can make that a lot harder.



He finally was taken off the IV drip and allowed back in our room on Sunday evening...after a LOT of poking and prodding. His poor little heals have needle marks all over them from all the blood tests.



We came home Monday and I can't believe it's only been a day since we arrived home. I'm absolutely exhausted and overwhelmed. Hubby is amazing though. I knew he'd be a good papa but he's surprised me still.

I'm severely anemic and very weak still - the doctor said I would need at least 6 weeks just to recover the blood I lost! And I keep forgetting to eat or drink. Which doesn't help the milk situation.

We also had a slight situation with Trooper Bear and Timber...I was ready to send them both to their Aunt's house for good but hubby talked me down. The dogs aren't allowed in the bedroom right now and they slept in the living room by themselves for the first time ever. Sad, but I would never sleep if the dogs were in there with us and the baby.


I feel like crying at everything...especially looking at the photos from the hospital. But I think it's a little late to change my mind now. =)