Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Apparently I'm Poisoning My Baby

Warning: Strong language is included in this post...I'm not a fan of the "f" word but I feel it's warranted.

I'm super sensitive about criticism heaped on moms for feeding their children formula. Frankly, without formula my baby would have just about starved to death.

This comes up because I got a survey from some company that I'd never heard of so I did a quick online search and their name came up in a mothering forum. The thread was instructing other moms to NOT fill out the survey because it was from an EVIL formula company trying to figure out how to market to breast feeding moms.

First of all, if I had decided beforehand to formula feed that is no one's business but mine. As it was I was desperate to breast feed and the guilt I felt for not being able to (in combination with post pardum) had me suicidal.

One person called formula POISON!

"I have gotten that survey a couple of times. I answered it honestly, and then I wrote, "formula is poison" in the margins of all of the pages just to get my point across that I would not use any of the crap."
Oh For Fuck's Sake.

This just pisses me off so much. I felt SO incredibly guilty for not giving my baby the "best" nutrition that I could. Nature just didn't want to allow me that pleasure (and I'm not going to go into all the crap we went through...we tried everything!). And for some breast feeding Nazi to judge me over something that I had absolutely no control of is disgusting and malicious. And to say that formula is "crap" and "poison" is cruel.

I KNOW that breast feeding would be the best for my baby (and God knows I tried) but he seems to be growing just fine and is extremely healthy (for goodness sake he's already wearing 6-9 month clothing and he's not even 4 months old!). The pain and sorrow I went through in his first three weeks were hell ... even my lactation nurse finally said that I should move on and enjoy my baby. Just thinking about that time brings tears to my eyes. And you know what? The moment I stopped trying to force my boobs to "work" I started sleeping better and truly enjoying my new little one...and went back to my "normal" self.

Does this look like a little boy who is malnourished or being fed poison?!?


Vivacious Jewel said...

I had a very similar experience. I drove myself crazy trying to breastfeed and spent more time, money, and energy on trying than if I had just formula-fed from the beginning. This is not to mention that I also had mommy-guilt for going back to work (had to- I'm the only income) on top of guilt for not being able to breastfeed... It was bad. I totally understand why you're angry, just wanted to stop by and say you are not alone and offer hugs!

pamibe said...

Some people are just snots. My brother and I weren't breast fed. My stepdaughters didn't breast feed... and that's 4 kids right there!

Those idiots remind me of people who claim the brand of dog food they use is best and if you're not using it, you're poisoning your dog.

It's the 21st freaking century; those fools better tweak to that sooner than later.

CastoCreations said...

Thank you both. I do hate formula but I'm thankful to God for it's availability because without it my child would be screwed.

Although on the dog food issue...I do think some of the foods are pretty much poison. lol Not that everyone needs to feed $50 bags of food like we do but some of that cheap stuff is murder on some dogs systems. Other dogs it works fine. My brother's dog gets the cheapest stuff he can find, which makes me sad but the dog does fine. Our dogs, specifically Trooper, get sick on cheap stuff.

Anna said...

Megan, do not let these people get to you! They have no idea who you are or what a wonderful mom you are, so don't pay them any attention! My oldest was breast fed for as long as I could and she still ended up with allergies while my youngest would have nothing to do with me and she's perfectly healthy! So just love that little boy and forget about those awful "natural" moms who think they know everything!

CastoCreations said...

Thanks, Anna. I'm pretty tough and thick skinned usually but this subject just rips me up. My boy is so obviously healthy that it's hard to read that I'm somehow poisoning him. *sigh* =) But I'm glad I have such nice friends to encourage me!

Samantha G said...

Great post. I don't have kids myself, but have many friends who do, and get sick and tired of hearing about all this so-called "lactivism."

CastoCreations said...

LOL Samantha...I am a huge proponent of breast feeding and am sad when I hear moms who refuse to even try. But I'm not going to tell them that they are poisoning their babies! And even the breast feeding class I took made it seem like anyone who formula fed was crazy or abusive to their child. I didn't know then that I wouldn't be able to breastfeed, and I very much wanted to, but they did seem overboard to me then too.

People need to just mind their business I think. If a woman is able and wants to breastfeed then good for her! If not, please back off.