Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Delayed MIL Derangement

Hubby and I have been married for over six years now and until today I thought I was super lucky in having a wonderful and sane mother in law. Even before we got married I was thankful not to be dreading having a bad MIL. Even when she moved into the state she was great. And until last week I always told people that I loved my in laws (though we really don't talk to his dad much ... he lives far away).

Apparently I was the only one in our relationship who thought it was good. I got upset with her last week for questioning my responsibilities...she said that I had none.

Yeah...tell that to my boss.

So I was a bit peeved but I wasn't furious. I was hoping she'd realize why I was upset but didn't so I sent an e-mail ... nothing big and it wasn't emotional. Just an e-mail to tell her that I was disappointed in her behavior and to explain why I was upset with her initially. I was (and am) disappointed in the way she's treating her son as well (was ignoring him and refusing his calls).

Then today I talk to hubby (who is off and at home) and find out that she finally talked to him. She apparently told him that he better watch out and find out where the money is going (what money?); that I did nothing around our house or for our family; that he had to choose between her and me; etc., etc. He has NO idea where all this craziness came from. I'm wondering if she needs to be committed because it seriously sounds like she's being possessed.

Unless she has had these thoughts forever and hid them, this is not the mother in law I know. And of course it upsets me so much (and I'm very tired and emotional today anyway) that I start crying at work. GREAT! Such a professional thing to do you know. Everyone loves a crying coworker.

I hope that hubby and his sister can shed some light on this situation. He told me that she never could sufficiently explain why she is mad at me (which makes perfect sense ... since I did NOTHING to her...truly nothing).

I'm just at a total loss with what to do. I am sure that if I'd had a psycho MIL all this time I'd be used to this kind of thing and wouldn't worry about it but to have it come on suddenly is just incredibly disconcerting and upsetting. Hubby and I are trying to have a crumb cruncher ... this isn't the time for her to alienate me damn it!

Of course I'm also PMSing (or I'm pregnant...but unfortunately it's probably the first one) so I finally get home and can NOT stop crying. Just sobbing. She apparently also brought up things from like four years ago ... some of which had nothing to do with her at all. She told hubby that they could have a relationship through his cell phone.

*blank stare*

Just wow. This is so coming from out of the blue. Should I be this upset? Maybe not. Hubby says not ... that it's completely illogical and she'll get over it, but I can't imagine how.

I'm at a total loss. And very tired from crying all day. :(


Sandee (Comedy +) said...

How old is your mother in law? Could she be going through the change? For some women they actually appear to go nuts. If she may be in that age range and you can get her to the doctor they can give her medication to make her return to normal.

My mother who was the sweetest thing in the entire world went stark raving mad for a bit. My father would call and beg us girls for help.

Hope this issue find a resolution soon. Big hug. :)

SpeakDog said...

Spouse's entire family = stark raving lunatics. They are rude, hateful and unbearable. Fortunately, Spouse doesn't like them much either, and always takes my side. Their behaviour at the last gathering was so horrible that I am now excused from attending any more family functions. Fortunately, they all live in different states and far away from us.

So, I feel your pain.

My best friend has awesome in-laws... I've always been so jealous.

pamibe said...

I was actually going to ask about menopause, but Sandee beat me to it.

I went nuts for about five years but at least I didn't take it out on others... or go liberal. ;)

What I do with my MIL... go to the source. Have it out. Maybe she got some wonky test results or someone else told her something about you that's not true... but wait until the smoke clears and you're not PMSing.

Hang in there; you're fine. Your hubby loves you and so do we. Your MIL just went off the rails for a bit. ;)

CastoCreations said...

Thank you!!!

I could not stop crying last night but I'm feeling more level headed today.

She's already gone through the "change" so it's not that. It could be dementia I suppose but hubby says she's gone nuts on him before in the past too. I honestly think she's depressed and needs counseling and medication. But I'm sure that suggestion wouldn't go over so well.

What breaks my heart is that she's family and we're always such a close family. We do things together and this is throwing a wrench in things. Hubby turns 40 and we were all going to go away to a cabin with the dogs. Not sure how that would work now.

Hubby said to just wait her out but I worry about that too since she's not so healthy.


I can't stress about it now though. I have a dog trial to get ready for and a ton of work to do at my job and with my jewelry. Not to mention four dogs to take care of and a hubby to feed. =)

THANK YOU for your support!!!!!