Here is mine:
wireless and broadband deployment grant programs
(including transfer of funds to Megan for the Megan Personal Economic Stimulus Program)
For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $150,000,000 shall be paid directly to Megan in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by Megan to provide jewelry supplies for small business or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That Megan will receive free House tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That Megan shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Murtha is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.