Doctors Aren't Always Right

So, Thursday evening we had a terrible time finding out that my mother in law had at most 6 months to live and at worst one.

This was based on her long conversation with her doctor and her high white blood cell count. Her doctor has been in practice for more than 30 years and she clearly takes what he says very seriously. He had her talking about hospice based solely on her white blood cell counts.

But he was WRONG!

The tests came back on Friday and she IS in REMISSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm relieved and pissed all at the same time. Here this doctor tells her that she's basically going to kick the bucket and so she's ready to leave us on Thursday.

Oh ... sorry ... Nope. Sorry about the emotional distress based on my guess.

So of course we're relieved and thrilled. She still has a journey to recover - she'll be going in every day this week for treatment - but she is apparently officially in remission from her Leukemia.

I'm still frustrated at her total acceptance of dying - and not wanting to fight. Nothing is ever final! I don't care what the doctors say. They said that my little cousin would be a paraplegic for the rest of his life and he stood up on his wedding day two weeks ago to say his vows!

Doctors can be wrong!!!

More Bad News

Because there isn't enough stress in my life right now.

Yesterday I had another Non Stress Test (NST) and hubby came with me. It was nice because he got to see what I go through with these things. Of course the boy wasn't moving very much ... he tends to have on days and off days and yesterday was an off day. This morning appears to be an on day. :)

But the stressful part of the appointment came when they started looking at my blood sugars. This gestational diabetes thing is really difficult and my body is not cooperating. Even when I eat something that should NOT raise my blood sugar, my score is too high. Of course I haven't been eating *that* well so some of the scores were because of my own choices.

So the doc and nurse said if I can't get my scores down in the next 4 days I'll have to be sent up to UW Medical even more often so they can start monitoring me there. :( Which would totally suck. I hate driving to Seattle, and the parking is expensive.

After the appointment we went over to the hospital to visit my mother in law. She is in for a 6 day round of chemo. And she had bad news for us. Her white counts were way too high and the doctor thinks that her cancer is back...after an all too brief remission. They'll find out for sure today.

What sucks is that she is not going to do everything she can to beat it. She's hoping for 6 months, at the most. And that just drives me insane! If you can fight something you should fight it. I feel like she's just giving up...something I said and she denies.

I know how hard the last full month round of treatment was for her. She had a minor stroke and had bleeding in the brain that only stopped through a miracle (they can't operate) - there were several times when they thought they were going to lose her. But we didn't! She made it.

She is refusing to have any sort of bone marrow transplant because the doctor says the odds are 20-30% she'd die during treatment. Which to me translates to a 70-80% chance of making it through!

I don't understand giving up. Yes, she's 69 years old. So what?!? That doesn't automatically mean she should refuse treatment and leave this planet early. She's going to be a grandma for Pete's sake. And she's saying all she wants is the opportunity to hold him.

*sigh*

So right now, her plan is to get blood transfusions, which should give her around 6 months. It would be nice to have her at least through Christmas.

It was not a good evening and I couldn't hold back the tears...although crying isn't exactly something new for me lately.

I know it's her life. And her right to decide what treatment she accepts. I know that logically. I don't accept it though.

SSP Fundraiser Results

I'm so excited to announce that I raised $69.95 during the Etsy sale fund raiser for Saving Shelter Pets. YAY!!! I'm going to round up. *grin*

So $70 is on its way to SSP to help rescue animals from high kill shelters. I love this organization and hope you'll check out what they do and support their efforts.

Cross posting at my other two blogs.

I'm Not Sad...Is That Mean?

Teddy K died. I don't feel a thing. Does that make me a bad person? I felt more emotion when MJ died, but just barely. It's not like I knew these people...and I loathed TK. It's going to be nauseating having to see people go on and on about what a wonderful public servant he was and what a difference he made to America.

Barf. He was a horrible, lifetime politician who helped change things for his own gain and socialist views. No one should be in the same position for 47 years...term limits anyone?

Not to mention his murder of a young woman. How many other politicians could get away with that and still manage a "successful" political career?

So forgive me if I don't celebrate the life of a crooked politician (is that a redundant statement?) nor mourn his passing.

I do dread the coming media love fest for the "lion of the senate" ... and the Dems inevitable use of his brain tumor to push their disastrous health care "reform".

Capitalism Works!

As exhausted as I was this weekend, I was on a mission.

Orville Redenbacher used to make the yummiest White Cheddar popcorn but they stopped a year or two ago and I've been without ever since. But my coworker discovered a super yummy topping that you can shake onto your popcorn and it's white cheddar. Fabulous!

My goal this weekend was to FIND this piece of heavenly taste. I knew that Top Foods carried it, but I generally shop first at Walmart. Walmart carries two flavors, but not White Cheddar.

So off to Top Foods I go, hobbling and waddling in my own way (and being a busy body in the process) through this much more expensive store.

Price of the seasoning/topping at Walmart was $1.xx ... price at Top Foods ... $3.xx!!!!! SAME exact product (different flavor)!

But you know what? That is capitalism. I didn't find what I wanted in one store so I went to another store where they do have it. More expensive, yes. But that's their right as a private company and they obviously have clientele who are willing to pay for it.

If the government ran our grocery stores, I'd have ONE choice and ONE choice only and it would probably be for low fat, low salt, organic microwave popcorn with no seasoning or butter. And it would cost $10 for a 3 pack.

I'm glad I bought my 6 pack of popcorn at Walmart though. Same EXACT product...$3 vs $6 at Top Foods. Craziness I tell ya.

But God Bless America!

Oh...and one other observation from my errands. Walmart was PACKED on a Sunday afternoon. I waited a good 25 minutes in line (torture!). Top Foods was dead and there was no wait in line. I'm not saying one store is better than another (I like them both but shop at Wally World more often) but it was an interesting dichotomy.

How Can This Happen in America?

Woke up this morning to the news talking about a 17 year old girl, formerly Muslim, who converted to Christianity and is now afraid for her life. She ran away from home to Florida from Ohio and today some court system is going to decide whether she will be forced to return.

Couple of thoughts...

Is she being irrationally afraid due to pressure from the people who helped convert her? Is she being irrationally afraid because she's 17 years old and drama rules at that age?

I don't think so - we've seen cases of in the Western world of women being murdered by their families...so called "honor killings" for much less a "crime" than converting from Islam ... so it isn't like there is no precedent for her fear.

We've even seen a father kill his young daughters, who hadn't even converted!, and he is still on the run.

She is still a minor. Though I know we've seen cases of kids taken away (or allowed to divorce their parents) from their parents for less frightening reasons. It's not like she's 5. She's 17 and almost considered an adult.

It's not an easy situation and I don't envy the people who have to make this decision. To make it even more complicated, she isn't technically a citizen of the U.S. but of Sri Lanka, where she'd surely be killed if forced to return.

Her words send chills down my spine:

"If I had stayed in Ohio, I wouldn't be alive," she said. "In 150 generations in family, no one has known Jesus. I am the first — imagine the honor in killing me.

"There is great honor in that, because if they love Allah more than me, they have to do it. It's in the Koran," said in the interview, which has been posted on YouTube."

Sadly, she's right. There is "honor" in killing her in the sick twisted perversion that is Islam and Sharia law.

Let's hope and pray that she remains safe whatever the outcome of today's court decision.

EDITED TO ADD: Atlas Shrugged is all over this and points out that Fox is not doing nearly a good enough job in reporting all the facts of this case. Like the fact that she converted nearly 4 years ago!

Someone Moved My Cheese

And I mean that literally.

My cheese and my lunch meat were not in their proper place when I went to make my sandwich for lunch.

I have issues and I realize this. OCD is just one of them (there are many others). I put my food for work in the same exact spot EVERY single day. And if someone is in my spot, I move them. It's a compulsion. I can't control it (okay, I realize that I could...but I don't...whatever...don't judge me - I'm pregnant damnit!).

So someone, who must not know how crazy I am, has started putting their food in "my" spot for the last two days. And for the last two days I've moved it down one shelf to a new spot.

You have to imagine...I come in to work and open the fridge and stare ... there's already stuff in the place where I am preparing to place my food. It's like ... oh I don't even know how to describe it. But it totally throws me off. (Yes, crazy...I've already admitted that.)

I obviously pissed this person off today. At lunch I go to the fridge to make my super yummy sandwich and my cheese and lunch meat are GONE!

Please understand...food is so far the only thing I've completely come unhinged about since I've been pregnant. All fits and insane behavior have revolved around food - and hubby learned VERY quickly not to try to take my food. (I almost threw a knife at him when he tried to take a piece of my pizza.)

I very nearly had a full out sobbing breakdown in the kitchen. I held it together just long enough to look in other places ... and there was my food. HIDDEN in the very back of a completely different shelf behind other people's food. Clearly deliberately done to display other person's annoyance at me.

Which I get. I totally get. And don't blame them for at all.

But it still prompted me to curse. And then to laugh. I am completely insane. The pregnancy just exacerbates it.

Now I am on a mission to find out WHO moved my cheese (and lunch meat) so I can explain my craziness. Everyone who knows me totally gets it. Another coworker once put her stuff in "my" spot in front of me and I moved it in front of her and she laughed. She gets me. I wish everyone got me.

Starting to Freak Out

I've got less than 7 weeks before I'm due to give birth. And I have to admit - I'm totally freaked out.

I had my first "Non Stress Test" yesterday - I have to have two each week because my pregnancy is high risk. Apparently around this time (34 ish weeks) the baby can sometimes spontaneous die and they don't really know why.

WTH!?

So twice a week I have to schlep to the doctor's office and get strapped in to these monitors that track the baby's heart rate for 30 minutes.

I still have no idea which doctor will actually do my delivery...I talked to the OB doc yesterday and explained my utter anxiety about having one of them do it. I'm sure she didn't appreciate it, but I don't care. I'm not comfortable with NOT knowing which of the 4 OB docs will do my delivery, especially since I've only met two of them...each one time. My family practice doctor was with me the first seven months and I'd rather stay with her.

The OB doc did say that she would talk to her supervisor to see what they could do. So I can only pray that they will value my sanity above their procedures.

I can feel my emotions boiling just under the surface. I've been so mellow this whole pregnancy - much to my surprise and delight - but I can tell that the hormones are really starting their steep incline. The birthing class instructor told us that at 7 months the hormones really ratchet almost straight up compared to the first 7 months. I felt like crying over nothing yesterday. Two days before that I was high as a kite (not literally...just emotionally).

I'm sure that most of it is the pregnancy hormones, but I worry that some of it is the Bipolar. I've been very non-suicidal the whole time but those thoughts still flit through my brain every now and again...and totally freak me out at times.

Above all, I'm tired of being pregnant. I'm ready to meet my boy and hold him. I'm not ready for sleepless nights but at least I'll be able to get out of bed without this watermelon in my belly. Any movement is a huge challenge for me right now.

Nobody tells you these things before you get pregnant.

Fundraising for Saving Shelter Pets

I have a few favorite charities, and most revolve around animals or kids. What can I say? They're the most innocent among us all.

And while I love my pure bred babies, my adopted babies hold a special place in my heart. Especially my Timber Wolf (who is a total daddy's boy but I still adore him).


Saving Shelter Pets is one of those organizations that I somehow stumbled upon (probably through EntreCard and reading other pet blogs...EC is worth it for that alone) and have loved ever since. They do SUCH great work and you really do get to see their results.


Starting Sunday August 16 (yesterday) and running through August 26, participating Etsy shops are donating 20% of their sales to SSP. And I'm one of the shops! I was super excited to get my first fund-raising sale today and am so happy to be able to participate.

So if you're planning ahead for birthdays or Christmas, please consider purchasing from one of the shops participating in this great fundraiser. I know I have my eye on several items. :)

Pimping

It's Friday. I'm tired and busy at work. The news is pissing me off.

So I'm just going to pimp some stuff.

=)

If you need to send out newsletters for any reason (business or personal) I totally and 100% recommend Mail Chimp. I've been using them for over a year now and have always been happy with their service.

Their pricing is excellent because they allow you to pay per e-mail address. I used to use Constant Contact and they were way more expensive...you had to pay a monthly fee even if you didn't send out a message at all...and then if you went above a certain number of e-mail addresses in your list you got charged more.

So I really love Mail Chimp.

I think if you sign up through my affiliate link you get a bonus to start you out, and I'll get a special credit too! :)

Plus, their monkey mascot is totally cute. :)

The next thing I'm pimping is Swag Bucks. I learned about this one from Jana at Speak Dog Speak. And I'm really glad that I signed up.

So far I've earned 80 "Swag Bucks" ... doing nothing more than searching as I normally would. You use their search engine, which pulls from major search engines like Google, and you can earn Swag Bucks. You don't earn them every time but you do earn them consistently.

Those Bucks can then be used to buy actual stuff like gift cards to places like Amazon.com. I'm saving up. :) I don't know how much, but I do get some swag bucks if you sign up through my referral link.

Anyway, it's super easy to use and I think it's worth it if you're just going to be searching anyway - might as well earn a little something at the same time.

Okay...pimping over for now. =)

Now I've Seen Everything

The "Burkini"(video link)...wow. Just wow.

Billed as "liberating" by the newscaster. I'm not sure I agree with that.

I'm as modest as the next gal (trust me...I do NOT change into my swimsuit in front of others at the gym...I go into the bathroom to change) but this seems nuts. It's really just a wet suit but with that added religious craziness of a head cover.

I think a lot of young girls and women wear swimsuits that are way too revealing (not to mention unflattering) but I wouldn't go so far as to expect girls to cover up to this extent. I realize it's partly a religious thing, but I think it's nuts.

Doing Nothing is Actually Something

Why all the panic? "We MUST do something NOW." Why must we?

What will happen if the health care bill fails? Will the world end? Will our economy get turned inside out overnight? Will millions of people just instantly fall ill and die?

No. Of course not.

Doing nothing is, in reality, making a decision and doing something. That something is maintaining the system as it is for the time being while, hopefully, more sustainable options are discussed.

Doing something NOW generally turns out badly in the end.

The Health Insurance of this country isn't perfect, but it's a damn site better than any other country and it's above and beyond anything the government will do.

So Now What?

Well, the one blog I got paid (slightly) to write is now defunct. I can't even log in. I'm so pissed because I really enjoyed writing it and even not getting paid I would continue to write it. But the company, 451 Press, sent out an e-mail (with no subject line) saying that they are no longer going to operate.

Okay...great. So how the hell do I get to my blog?!? They've been having technical issues for weeks now and most bloggers in their network haven't been able to log in. I would love to take over the blog I was writing (homezookeeper if you weren't aware) but it looks like the only way I'll be able to save my data is to start a new Blogger blog and copy/paste the old posts. Which is SO lame.

Even the 451 Press website is off line.

Not a good way to go out...leaving everyone hanging. The forum is gone too so I can't even connect with other bloggers to find out what they're doing.

SO frustrated!

I'm not mad that the company is shutting down. If it isn't financial feasible to operate than yes, shut down. But do it responsibly and take care of those who were, in essence, working for you. Don't just dump and run.

*sigh*

Even Pregnant, I'd Get Beat Up

I love Dogette over at Two Nervous Dogs. She links to this spectacularly AWESOME shirt that I don't have the balls to wear. Even pregnant, in my town I seriously think I'd get beat up.

Plus, the idea of wearing "the one's" face on me, even mockingly, makes me a little queasy.

How Did We Survive?

I myself never had a lemonade stand as a young girl. Nor did my brother. Perhaps we just weren't very entrepreneurial back then.

But I can guarantee you that if we had wanted to open one we sure as hell wouldn't have gone down to city hall to apply for a permit. And if my boy wants to open a drink stand to try to earn some extra cash I am not going to make him get a permit either. I'm all for kids working to earn their own money.

Government, of course, can't abide by the idea of someone selling something without getting their "fair" share. So an 8 year old girl gets her business shut down by city regulators.



I do not blame the "enforcer" himself...I blame the system that thinks it is somehow acceptable to force every single person who sells a drop of flavored water to register themselves with the city. As if this little girl's business is not legitimate until she's "approved" by the powers that be.

I suppose it's never too early to learn about bureaucracy and the overreach of government. And that if you make a big stink you might get something for free (a radio station gave her tickets to Disneyland, which is what she was selling the lemonade for). Don't bother working...just make enough noise. Squeaky wheel and all that.

Go Home and Change, You're Too Well Dressed

Apparently Miss Barbara Boxer isn't used to seeing "normal" people standing up for themselves and their rights. She's used to the smelly hippies and their warped kids who keep having flashbacks to the 60s ... protesting everything under the sun.

But when the "normal" (aka normally silent majority) get fed up they start to act out in a manner that Barb just doesn't approve of. And apparently we're too well dressed.

I went to a Tea Party protest on the 4th of July and had a blast. I went alone in all my pregnant discomfort and boy did I feel scared among all those rowdy rebels.

These guys were really vicious ... don't they look like scary right wing mob dogs?

Phew...I barely escaped with my life after photographing these folks. I suppose Nancy thinks this is too well dressed as well.

And anyone with puppies and babies can't be up to any good. Look out! They're storming the front doors!!!

The police were there and I chatted with them...they were pretty bored. Their job consisted of directly pregnant women to the bathroom (hey, it was a hot day and I'd been drinking a lot of water) and standing in the shade.

When are these elitist politicians going to realize that the NORMAL people are sick and tired of their bullying, excess spending, and passing laws without even understanding the consequences. Trying to ram these things down our throats and telling us it's for our own good ... that just pisses me off.

I just love how the media is going along with the Democratic spin that these "protesters" (aka citizens) attending town hall meetings and venting their frustration are just brain washed, "tea bagging", right wing extremists.

"...we've seen increasing numbers of militant right-wing activists attending public meetings across the country targeting members of Congress and President Obama...The people who show up are far right wing idealogues recruited by paid organizers...

...We can expect to see anti-abortion groups, pro-gun groups, insurance company employees (mandated by employers to come out) militia groups, and anti-immigration groups..."

Un-freaking-believable...we're right-wing activists...being paid. (Where's my check? It must be lost in the mail.) Militant activists even. How do they explain the registered democrats coming to these meetings to complain?

Nancy even suggested that there have been Swastikas brandished. Heard that little snippet from her on the radio this morning. Classy.

I guess it's okay to protest as long as it's for a left wing cause. It's okay to block streets, break into foreclosed homes, harass business people...as long as it's being done by Acorn or other lefty groups.

But when it's just regular everyday Americans...moms, dads, aunts, uncles...well then that's just not right. We're getting uppity and forgetting our place.

I'm sick of it all.

If This is What Government Care is Like, Count Me Out

I have seen the future...and it sucks.

I love Group Health, normally. But lately I've been having issues.

Not with my regular doctor or her office. They rock and are the epitome of awesomeness, helpfulness, and accommodation.

The issues start with Women's Health. It's like they aren't even on the same planet as the family practice office. Same clinic. Two completely different processes and results.

Once I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, I had to be referred to Women's Health to one of the OB doctors. I guess that is the rule. How long ago was this??? I think it was some time in June. I have YET to actually meet with my "assigned" doctor. My first scheduled appointment with him was for 11 a.m. on a day a few weeks ago where they had "fit" me in ... it got canceled and rescheduled for 4:30 p.m. that same day. I saw him once...because he came in my room by accident. He was looking for a different patient.

I ended up seeing a different doctor for about 5 minutes. I haven't seen another OB doctor since, but thankfully have still been seeing my family practice doctor and the OB nurse, who really does rock on her own.

Unfortunately, I'm still supposed to see one of the women's health doctors...so my next couple of Dr appointments are with one of them. Getting them both scheduled required acts of God.

Since I have gestational diabetes I'm supposed to have these things called "non Stress tests" starting at 34 weeks ... twice a freaking week! My boss will be thrilled of course. Each one takes an hour. Women with gestational diabetes have an increased chance of losing the baby spontaneously at this point in the pregnancy...so the tests are kind of important.

Since there is a clinic near my work I decided to ask if I could make some of them there instead of the clinic near my home (at least an hour away from work). Thankfully it's not an issue and the work clinic was super easy to work with to schedule these tests.

Then I try to schedule the tests for my home clinic. Dear God you'd think I was asking for a gold plated monitor with champagne and caviar served to me by half naked (male) Greek gods. They have ONE test a day. ONE. And only if there is a doctor available because apparently R.N.s are morons and couldn't do it instead.

The poor person I was talking to on the phone to get these scheduled felt my rath...which was a mixture of absolute tearful frustration and sputtering rage.

After everything else that I've been going through in this pregnancy, this clinic makes things so much more difficult and complicated. You're not supposed to stress out the lady with the difficult pregnancy (or any pregnant lady for that matter)!

Working with them makes me feel like I'm working with the government. Limited appointments. And there are too many patients to fit into those limited appointments. Overscheduled doctors and doctors unavailable in August (they're all apparently on vacation except the on call doctor). I may or may not actually see the doctor, even though I'm supposed to, because he/she (don't even know who I'll actually see!!!) is on call and could be called away.

There is a reason why I do not want one of the OB doctors to delivery my child...for one thing no one can tell me WHO would delivery me. I would just get the luck of the draw. And all my experiences so far with them make me think I'd be lucky to even get a doctor before the kid pops out!

I want my family practice doctor!!!!!!!

And heaven forbid the government takes over healthcare. I'll be in a constant state of sputtering tearful rage.

How Does This Thing Work?

I got a new phone yesterday and I'm completely lost. I've finally figured out how to get online...sort of. Not quite figured out how to really navigate properly.

I wanted to test it out and write a blog post...I figured out how to type in the title, but when I click into the box portion it won't let me type. Maybe I needed to select the "edit HTML" section.

The phone I went with is the LG EnV Touch. It's pretty nifty but the whole touch thing is still pretty beyond me. And when hubby called me on it yesterday I couldn't figure out how to answer right away. Sheesh. I feel like my grandpa!

Any suggestions for navigating in these uncharted waters?

Cute is Not the Word

People keep telling me how cute I look.

I used to do that when I saw pregnant ladies...if I thought they were cute. But now I would never say that! It's really kind of annoying.

I don't feel cute. I feel fat. And miserable. I'm in pain. I'm exhausted. I just want this kid out of me.

Then again, how often is the fat chick called cute? Only when there's a baby in the belly. =)