What Have I Done?

Faith as small as a mustard seed...that phrase has stuck with me since I was a child because sometimes I feel my faith is indeed just that small (a mustard seed is super tiny by the way).

I quit my job several weeks ago...even though I won't actually stop working at this job until April 23 (my official last day). It was important to give my final notice so we could move forward and find my replacement (which may take awhile considering how many people have already expressed interest ... and the job still isn't even officially posted!).

Why did I do this?

This Guy!

And the company headquarters (where I work) is moving to Seattle from Tacoma. My current commute can range from 30 minutes to 90 minutes depending on traffic (that's one direction...the longer time is generally in the afternoon). Driving to Seattle will MORE than double it because traffic just gets worse and worse the closer you get to the big City.

I'm not willing to sacrifice that much time in my car (or on a bus or train) away from my family. It would cost me MUCH more just to work and I'd be getting less compensation (they are not increasing anyone's salaries just because we'll be working in a much more expensive place and it will cost almost everyone more to get to work). I'd be away from home anywhere from 12-14 hours every day. There isn't even a daycare available for that amount of time...a couple coworkers suggested finding a daycare in Seattle and commuting with my boy. Yeah, right, there's a stellar idea.

Even though the company isn't going to be done moving until December 2010 (or so they say, I don't know if I really believe it'll happen that fast...nothing happens fast here) I decided that I could not just wait to see what happens. I decided to take control of my future...

Well...let me rephrase that. I prayed very hard late last year and the only thing I felt called to do was quit my job. How freaking scary is that?!?! Our economy isn't exactly booming and God wants me to quit my job, which pays well enough that hubby and I are very comfortable with two salaries. We're not rich but we manage.

So there I am with this calling to quit my job (before the move is even in progress) before I have any other job lined up. In early December I met with our company's Aflac agent to update our policies. We've had the Accident policy for more than 8 years and have had to use it twice already. Plus I wanted to add the Cancer policy and add Marshal to our plans.

When I met with the agent I asked how she liked it and how the business was doing. And out of nowhere I decided that I could work for Aflac.
I had no idea what this would require. I've never held a true sales position (I sold Avon when I was 19, and of course I do hock my jewelry *grin*)...I've never had any desire to sell any type of insurance (although Aflac isn't traditional insurance). And all of a sudden I'm saying...I could do that.

WTH!?!!

Now I'm studying for my Washington State Insurance License exam and once I pass that (*knock on wood*) I'll start training with Aflac (hopefully I can do it while I'm still in my current job). As of today I am not even technically employeed with them. Talk about scary.

Even scarier...I'll be working for commissions. EEK!!!

Lord...are you sure about this???

There are lots of benefits, without a doubt...

• Working on my own timeline - and as much or little as I desire (which can be good and bad)
• Working near my home and not commuting every day
• Being with a company that I truly like and from what other agents have said treats their associates very well
• A flexible schedule that will allow me to be home with my son more often - and work around hubby's ever changing schedule
• Potential for an incredible salary in a time of economic uncertainty

The downsides are huge and scary...

• No steady paycheck...commissions! *gulp*
• Having to buy healthcare on my own since I'll be an "independent contractor" (we're looking to see how much it will cost to get on hubby's healthcare)
• Having to pay self employment taxes (haven't confirmed this one but if I do it's going to totally suck)
• Having to network and "sell" myself...something I don't know if I'm good at, but people have been telling me that I am

With great risk can come great reward. I just hope God knows what he's doing. Doing a quick budget calculation based on our basic bills and only hubby's salary......We'd be in the hole by over $300 before even buying any groceries, formula, or diapers each month.

Again, I ask, What Have I Done?!?!?

It's a little panic inducing (me being prone to panic attacks already!) but I am trying to take deep breaths and continue to pray.

Things that make me feel more calm...

• I've got a good bonus coming up that is approximately two months of my pay (a little less after the extra taxes the government always take out...bastards!) that will go to paying off some debts and putting into savings.
• My last 5 paychecks will go into savings accounts and paying bills that aren't covered by hubby's paycheck (and saving for daycare expenses for when I'm training and doing sales things)
  
• I passed my first certification exam with 88%!!! WOOT!
• I'm going to be my own boss (mostly)!

So while I feel a little insane (actually, ... oh never mind ... insert your own snarky comment here) I am excited and exhilarated. And terrified!

Marshal...if mommy winds up in the looney bin, this whole experience is why. :)