So, Thursday evening we had a terrible time finding out that my mother in law had at most 6 months to live and at worst one.
This was based on her long conversation with her doctor and her high white blood cell count. Her doctor has been in practice for more than 30 years and she clearly takes what he says very seriously. He had her talking about hospice based solely on her white blood cell counts.
But he was WRONG!
The tests came back on Friday and she IS in REMISSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm relieved and pissed all at the same time. Here this doctor tells her that she's basically going to kick the bucket and so she's ready to leave us on Thursday.
Oh ... sorry ... Nope. Sorry about the emotional distress based on my guess.
So of course we're relieved and thrilled. She still has a journey to recover - she'll be going in every day this week for treatment - but she is apparently officially in remission from her Leukemia.
I'm still frustrated at her total acceptance of dying - and not wanting to fight. Nothing is ever final! I don't care what the doctors say. They said that my little cousin would be a paraplegic for the rest of his life and he stood up on his wedding day two weeks ago to say his vows!
Doctors can be wrong!!!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
More Bad News
Because there isn't enough stress in my life right now.
Yesterday I had another Non Stress Test (NST) and hubby came with me. It was nice because he got to see what I go through with these things. Of course the boy wasn't moving very much ... he tends to have on days and off days and yesterday was an off day. This morning appears to be an on day. :)
But the stressful part of the appointment came when they started looking at my blood sugars. This gestational diabetes thing is really difficult and my body is not cooperating. Even when I eat something that should NOT raise my blood sugar, my score is too high. Of course I haven't been eating *that* well so some of the scores were because of my own choices.
So the doc and nurse said if I can't get my scores down in the next 4 days I'll have to be sent up to UW Medical even more often so they can start monitoring me there. :( Which would totally suck. I hate driving to Seattle, and the parking is expensive.
After the appointment we went over to the hospital to visit my mother in law. She is in for a 6 day round of chemo. And she had bad news for us. Her white counts were way too high and the doctor thinks that her cancer is back...after an all too brief remission. They'll find out for sure today.
What sucks is that she is not going to do everything she can to beat it. She's hoping for 6 months, at the most. And that just drives me insane! If you can fight something you should fight it. I feel like she's just giving up...something I said and she denies.
I know how hard the last full month round of treatment was for her. She had a minor stroke and had bleeding in the brain that only stopped through a miracle (they can't operate) - there were several times when they thought they were going to lose her. But we didn't! She made it.
She is refusing to have any sort of bone marrow transplant because the doctor says the odds are 20-30% she'd die during treatment. Which to me translates to a 70-80% chance of making it through!
I don't understand giving up. Yes, she's 69 years old. So what?!? That doesn't automatically mean she should refuse treatment and leave this planet early. She's going to be a grandma for Pete's sake. And she's saying all she wants is the opportunity to hold him.
*sigh*
So right now, her plan is to get blood transfusions, which should give her around 6 months. It would be nice to have her at least through Christmas.
It was not a good evening and I couldn't hold back the tears...although crying isn't exactly something new for me lately.
I know it's her life. And her right to decide what treatment she accepts. I know that logically. I don't accept it though.
Yesterday I had another Non Stress Test (NST) and hubby came with me. It was nice because he got to see what I go through with these things. Of course the boy wasn't moving very much ... he tends to have on days and off days and yesterday was an off day. This morning appears to be an on day. :)
But the stressful part of the appointment came when they started looking at my blood sugars. This gestational diabetes thing is really difficult and my body is not cooperating. Even when I eat something that should NOT raise my blood sugar, my score is too high. Of course I haven't been eating *that* well so some of the scores were because of my own choices.
So the doc and nurse said if I can't get my scores down in the next 4 days I'll have to be sent up to UW Medical even more often so they can start monitoring me there. :( Which would totally suck. I hate driving to Seattle, and the parking is expensive.
After the appointment we went over to the hospital to visit my mother in law. She is in for a 6 day round of chemo. And she had bad news for us. Her white counts were way too high and the doctor thinks that her cancer is back...after an all too brief remission. They'll find out for sure today.
What sucks is that she is not going to do everything she can to beat it. She's hoping for 6 months, at the most. And that just drives me insane! If you can fight something you should fight it. I feel like she's just giving up...something I said and she denies.
I know how hard the last full month round of treatment was for her. She had a minor stroke and had bleeding in the brain that only stopped through a miracle (they can't operate) - there were several times when they thought they were going to lose her. But we didn't! She made it.
She is refusing to have any sort of bone marrow transplant because the doctor says the odds are 20-30% she'd die during treatment. Which to me translates to a 70-80% chance of making it through!
I don't understand giving up. Yes, she's 69 years old. So what?!? That doesn't automatically mean she should refuse treatment and leave this planet early. She's going to be a grandma for Pete's sake. And she's saying all she wants is the opportunity to hold him.
*sigh*
So right now, her plan is to get blood transfusions, which should give her around 6 months. It would be nice to have her at least through Christmas.
It was not a good evening and I couldn't hold back the tears...although crying isn't exactly something new for me lately.
I know it's her life. And her right to decide what treatment she accepts. I know that logically. I don't accept it though.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
SSP Fundraiser Results
I'm so excited to announce that I raised $69.95 during the Etsy sale fund raiser for Saving Shelter Pets. YAY!!! I'm going to round up. *grin*
So $70 is on its way to SSP to help rescue animals from high kill shelters. I love this organization and hope you'll check out what they do and support their efforts.
Cross posting at my other two blogs.
So $70 is on its way to SSP to help rescue animals from high kill shelters. I love this organization and hope you'll check out what they do and support their efforts.
Cross posting at my other two blogs.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I'm Not Sad...Is That Mean?
Teddy K died. I don't feel a thing. Does that make me a bad person? I felt more emotion when MJ died, but just barely. It's not like I knew these people...and I loathed TK. It's going to be nauseating having to see people go on and on about what a wonderful public servant he was and what a difference he made to America.
Barf. He was a horrible, lifetime politician who helped change things for his own gain and socialist views. No one should be in the same position for 47 years...term limits anyone?
Not to mention his murder of a young woman. How many other politicians could get away with that and still manage a "successful" political career?
So forgive me if I don't celebrate the life of a crooked politician (is that a redundant statement?) nor mourn his passing.
I do dread the coming media love fest for the "lion of the senate" ... and the Dems inevitable use of his brain tumor to push their disastrous health care "reform".
Barf. He was a horrible, lifetime politician who helped change things for his own gain and socialist views. No one should be in the same position for 47 years...term limits anyone?
Not to mention his murder of a young woman. How many other politicians could get away with that and still manage a "successful" political career?
So forgive me if I don't celebrate the life of a crooked politician (is that a redundant statement?) nor mourn his passing.
I do dread the coming media love fest for the "lion of the senate" ... and the Dems inevitable use of his brain tumor to push their disastrous health care "reform".
Monday, August 24, 2009
Capitalism Works!
As exhausted as I was this weekend, I was on a mission.
Orville Redenbacher used to make the yummiest White Cheddar popcorn but they stopped a year or two ago and I've been without ever since. But my coworker discovered a super yummy topping that you can shake onto your popcorn and it's white cheddar. Fabulous!
My goal this weekend was to FIND this piece of heavenly taste. I knew that Top Foods carried it, but I generally shop first at Walmart. Walmart carries two flavors, but not White Cheddar.
So off to Top Foods I go, hobbling and waddling in my own way (and being a busy body in the process) through this much more expensive store.
Price of the seasoning/topping at Walmart was $1.xx ... price at Top Foods ... $3.xx!!!!! SAME exact product (different flavor)!
But you know what? That is capitalism. I didn't find what I wanted in one store so I went to another store where they do have it. More expensive, yes. But that's their right as a private company and they obviously have clientele who are willing to pay for it.
If the government ran our grocery stores, I'd have ONE choice and ONE choice only and it would probably be for low fat, low salt, organic microwave popcorn with no seasoning or butter. And it would cost $10 for a 3 pack.
I'm glad I bought my 6 pack of popcorn at Walmart though. Same EXACT product...$3 vs $6 at Top Foods. Craziness I tell ya.
But God Bless America!
Oh...and one other observation from my errands. Walmart was PACKED on a Sunday afternoon. I waited a good 25 minutes in line (torture!). Top Foods was dead and there was no wait in line. I'm not saying one store is better than another (I like them both but shop at Wally World more often) but it was an interesting dichotomy.
Orville Redenbacher used to make the yummiest White Cheddar popcorn but they stopped a year or two ago and I've been without ever since. But my coworker discovered a super yummy topping that you can shake onto your popcorn and it's white cheddar. Fabulous!
My goal this weekend was to FIND this piece of heavenly taste. I knew that Top Foods carried it, but I generally shop first at Walmart. Walmart carries two flavors, but not White Cheddar.
So off to Top Foods I go, hobbling and waddling in my own way (and being a busy body in the process) through this much more expensive store.
Price of the seasoning/topping at Walmart was $1.xx ... price at Top Foods ... $3.xx!!!!! SAME exact product (different flavor)!
But you know what? That is capitalism. I didn't find what I wanted in one store so I went to another store where they do have it. More expensive, yes. But that's their right as a private company and they obviously have clientele who are willing to pay for it.
If the government ran our grocery stores, I'd have ONE choice and ONE choice only and it would probably be for low fat, low salt, organic microwave popcorn with no seasoning or butter. And it would cost $10 for a 3 pack.
I'm glad I bought my 6 pack of popcorn at Walmart though. Same EXACT product...$3 vs $6 at Top Foods. Craziness I tell ya.
But God Bless America!
Oh...and one other observation from my errands. Walmart was PACKED on a Sunday afternoon. I waited a good 25 minutes in line (torture!). Top Foods was dead and there was no wait in line. I'm not saying one store is better than another (I like them both but shop at Wally World more often) but it was an interesting dichotomy.
Friday, August 21, 2009
How Can This Happen in America?
Woke up this morning to the news talking about a 17 year old girl, formerly Muslim, who converted to Christianity and is now afraid for her life. She ran away from home to Florida from Ohio and today some court system is going to decide whether she will be forced to return.
Couple of thoughts...
Is she being irrationally afraid due to pressure from the people who helped convert her? Is she being irrationally afraid because she's 17 years old and drama rules at that age?
I don't think so - we've seen cases of in the Western world of women being murdered by their families...so called "honor killings" for much less a "crime" than converting from Islam ... so it isn't like there is no precedent for her fear.
We've even seen a father kill his young daughters, who hadn't even converted!, and he is still on the run.
She is still a minor. Though I know we've seen cases of kids taken away (or allowed to divorce their parents) from their parents for less frightening reasons. It's not like she's 5. She's 17 and almost considered an adult.
It's not an easy situation and I don't envy the people who have to make this decision. To make it even more complicated, she isn't technically a citizen of the U.S. but of Sri Lanka, where she'd surely be killed if forced to return.
Her words send chills down my spine:
Couple of thoughts...
Is she being irrationally afraid due to pressure from the people who helped convert her? Is she being irrationally afraid because she's 17 years old and drama rules at that age?
I don't think so - we've seen cases of in the Western world of women being murdered by their families...so called "honor killings" for much less a "crime" than converting from Islam ... so it isn't like there is no precedent for her fear.
We've even seen a father kill his young daughters, who hadn't even converted!, and he is still on the run.
She is still a minor. Though I know we've seen cases of kids taken away (or allowed to divorce their parents) from their parents for less frightening reasons. It's not like she's 5. She's 17 and almost considered an adult.
It's not an easy situation and I don't envy the people who have to make this decision. To make it even more complicated, she isn't technically a citizen of the U.S. but of Sri Lanka, where she'd surely be killed if forced to return.
Her words send chills down my spine:
"If I had stayed in Ohio, I wouldn't be alive," she said. "In 150 generations in family, no one has known Jesus. I am the first — imagine the honor in killing me.
"There is great honor in that, because if they love Allah more than me, they have to do it. It's in the Koran," said in the interview, which has been posted on YouTube."
Sadly, she's right. There is "honor" in killing her in the sick twisted perversion that is Islam and Sharia law.
Let's hope and pray that she remains safe whatever the outcome of today's court decision.
EDITED TO ADD: Atlas Shrugged is all over this and points out that Fox is not doing nearly a good enough job in reporting all the facts of this case. Like the fact that she converted nearly 4 years ago!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Someone Moved My Cheese
And I mean that literally.
My cheese and my lunch meat were not in their proper place when I went to make my sandwich for lunch.
I have issues and I realize this. OCD is just one of them (there are many others). I put my food for work in the same exact spot EVERY single day. And if someone is in my spot, I move them. It's a compulsion. I can't control it (okay, I realize that I could...but I don't...whatever...don't judge me - I'm pregnant damnit!).
So someone, who must not know how crazy I am, has started putting their food in "my" spot for the last two days. And for the last two days I've moved it down one shelf to a new spot.
You have to imagine...I come in to work and open the fridge and stare ... there's already stuff in the place where I am preparing to place my food. It's like ... oh I don't even know how to describe it. But it totally throws me off. (Yes, crazy...I've already admitted that.)
I obviously pissed this person off today. At lunch I go to the fridge to make my super yummy sandwich and my cheese and lunch meat are GONE!
Please understand...food is so far the only thing I've completely come unhinged about since I've been pregnant. All fits and insane behavior have revolved around food - and hubby learned VERY quickly not to try to take my food. (I almost threw a knife at him when he tried to take a piece of my pizza.)
I very nearly had a full out sobbing breakdown in the kitchen. I held it together just long enough to look in other places ... and there was my food. HIDDEN in the very back of a completely different shelf behind other people's food. Clearly deliberately done to display other person's annoyance at me.
Which I get. I totally get. And don't blame them for at all.
But it still prompted me to curse. And then to laugh. I am completely insane. The pregnancy just exacerbates it.
Now I am on a mission to find out WHO moved my cheese (and lunch meat) so I can explain my craziness. Everyone who knows me totally gets it. Another coworker once put her stuff in "my" spot in front of me and I moved it in front of her and she laughed. She gets me. I wish everyone got me.
My cheese and my lunch meat were not in their proper place when I went to make my sandwich for lunch.
I have issues and I realize this. OCD is just one of them (there are many others). I put my food for work in the same exact spot EVERY single day. And if someone is in my spot, I move them. It's a compulsion. I can't control it (okay, I realize that I could...but I don't...whatever...don't judge me - I'm pregnant damnit!).
So someone, who must not know how crazy I am, has started putting their food in "my" spot for the last two days. And for the last two days I've moved it down one shelf to a new spot.
You have to imagine...I come in to work and open the fridge and stare ... there's already stuff in the place where I am preparing to place my food. It's like ... oh I don't even know how to describe it. But it totally throws me off. (Yes, crazy...I've already admitted that.)
I obviously pissed this person off today. At lunch I go to the fridge to make my super yummy sandwich and my cheese and lunch meat are GONE!
Please understand...food is so far the only thing I've completely come unhinged about since I've been pregnant. All fits and insane behavior have revolved around food - and hubby learned VERY quickly not to try to take my food. (I almost threw a knife at him when he tried to take a piece of my pizza.)
I very nearly had a full out sobbing breakdown in the kitchen. I held it together just long enough to look in other places ... and there was my food. HIDDEN in the very back of a completely different shelf behind other people's food. Clearly deliberately done to display other person's annoyance at me.
Which I get. I totally get. And don't blame them for at all.
But it still prompted me to curse. And then to laugh. I am completely insane. The pregnancy just exacerbates it.
Now I am on a mission to find out WHO moved my cheese (and lunch meat) so I can explain my craziness. Everyone who knows me totally gets it. Another coworker once put her stuff in "my" spot in front of me and I moved it in front of her and she laughed. She gets me. I wish everyone got me.
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